Santa Barbara is a town for the filthy rich. A very basic starter home within the
city now costs over a million dollars. Shops seem to cater to the most exquisite
tastes, while the restaurants all seem gouge you with premium pricing. A hotel
room for a weekend night now will set you back on the average around $250.
Heading
over to Santa Barbara a few weeks ago, I had plans to meet with
friends and celebrate one of their monumental birthdays. Some of my friends
coming from Bakersfield asked if I wanted to split the cost of a hotel room. Thinking
I would be out about $125 for my half, I agreed to the arrangement. I was
shocked when they called back and said they had made reservations at a hotel
on State Street for $85. My half would be less than $50 with the tax included.
I wondered what we would be getting for so little money in one of California’s
most expensive cities. Soon I would experience the Siesta Inn & Suites which
was chosen due to its close proximity to my friend Mat‘s house.
Arriving
in Santa Barbara on a Saturday morning I weighed the fact that I had
left a pending 81 degree day in Bakersfield for a chilling cloud covered 58 degree
day at the beach. The trade off was worth it since my sexy friend Denise
from San Diego would be in town as well to warm things up. I pulled in
to Mat’s driveway and greeted all my friends. Plans for the day included cocktails
at the Sandbar (formerly the Calypso) as well as meeting up with Denise
for a later dinner date. After dinner it would basically be whatever
happens, happens. Danny’s wife and Mat’s girlfriend headed off to the movies
while we took off for the Sandbar.
On the way to the bar we decided
to stop at the Siesta Inn and see the room which Danny had told me was quoted
as a suite. We walked a block from Mat’s house to the motel. The motel appeared
to be an old 25 unit Travelodge situated on the higher end of State street.
The desk clerk gave us a key to room #9. The room immediately made us
laugh. What looked like a permanent bare butt stain graced the cover of the chair.
Any signs of a suite were beyond me. The room was located on the first floor
under a stairwell. It was the window in the bathroom which brought the most laughter
though. The view was of a painted brick wall with an entertainment center
and a broken lamp. At this point I was thinking "ah, livin la vida loca."
Not
to be dismayed, we figured the booze would make it even more hilarious.
The Sandbar on State street is a great place for people watching from the
outdoor tables. A few Red Bull & Vodkas started working their magic. After a couple
of hours of cocktails, I knew it was time to head back to the room to clean
up for my dinner date with Denise and some of her extended family. Dinner was
at a place called Something Fishy which is basically a Benihana style restaurant
where the cook provides the food and entertainment table side. Dinner was good
although I was annoyed by the restaurant’s sly way of herding us out once we
were finished.
After dinner, Denise and I split from her family so
we could meet up with my friends. We made a pit stop into the Wildcat which is
basically Santa Barbara’s answer to the Mint. I think Denise was a bit
taken back by the crowd which included straight, gay, punk, weirdo, preppy and
other assorted styles and personalities.
We then made it to Velvet
Jones where my friend Mat is in charge of security. It was reggae night although
the band seemed a bit too white to pull it off. The next few hours were spent
with Red Bull & Vodkas, Goldschlager, Rum & Cokes, Firestone Beer and a few glasses
of water. The party was on and the birthday celebration was a big success.
After midnight Denise and I caught a cab back to the Siesta although
a slight problem popped up. My carded key wouldn’t work in the room door. I
thought the desk clerk could handle it although I soon realized the hotel doesn’t
have a desk clerk after 11:00 pm. I called an emergency number and about 20
minutes later a massively stoned looking guy pulled up and said he would get us
into the room. His master keycard was as effective as mine. We were still locked
out. Eventually he found the old school giant key ring and had me work each
key. After about 15 keys, I found the right one and was once again back inside
the wannabe/poorman’s suite.
The next morning everyone met for breakfast
and we all agreed that the trip wouldn’t have really been any better in
a $250 motel room. We all decided that the main thing was to get nice and drunk
before returning to the room and then it doesn’t really matter where you are staying
as long as a pillow and mattress are involved. The Siesta Inn & Suites can
be slightly recommended for a cheap sleep and good laugh in Santa Barbara.
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